Ok I have given you advance warning. If you don't want to hear all about "poor pitiful me" stop reading now and come back when I have something better to post.
My Great Aunt N has been in a nursing home for a couple of years. I told you that we went to visit her the other week remember? Got a call yesterday that she was taken to the hospital and it didn't look like she was going to make it through the night. Dad and I rushed to the hospital to see her. I was told she could not hear us but I thought maybe she could. So I rattled on about stuff and cats (she loved cats) and I know she heard me. I could tell by the way she wrinkled her forehead and started grunting. We left at 8:00 PM. Got a phone call this morning telling us she passed last night around 8:30 PM -- right after we left. She had left all her stuff (except maybe some money somewhere) to me so Dad and I went to the nursing home to get everything. She will be buried Monday afternoon.
The poor pitiful me stuff? In the almost 5 years that I have been journaling here in AOL J-land the following has happened:
I had to put 3 cats and a pet rabbit to sleep.
A cousin committed suicide.
My Aunt had a stroke and I had to get her into a nursing home, see that all these legal things were taken care of (as I was made her power of attorney). When she died I planned the funeral and stuff.
Mom fell and fractured her hip and had to have surgery. When she had her surgery I believe is when she had the first of a few "mini" strokes.
I have my tonsils out. It messes up my system somehow and I go to the ER and get admitted to the psych unit for 4 days while they adjust my meds.
Forgot: found out I have diabetes
Something isn't right about mom so we call 911. First time every any of us went by ambulance. The ER says she has phemonia and admits her. Somehow someway more tests are run and we find out she has lung cancer and will soon die.
With mom home in a hospital bed Dad gets sick. Call to his doctor results in me calling 911 again. Dad is off to the hospital and I am left with mom. She can't be left alone so I have to get one of Dad's friends to take him stuff and to get him when he is released a few days later.
About 2 weeks before mom dies and old neighbor of mine and a good friend of my dads dies unexpectedly.
Less than 2 months from finding out mom has cancer she passed. Again I am the one that has to plan a funeral and do all the legal stuff.
I finally believe I have gotten my Aunt's house sold (been on the market since her death 3 years ago). Run into some legal problems I have to get taken care of. Now the buyer is having financing problems and we'll close about a month later than expected. Hopefully.
My dad's next door neighbor dies and was buried just yesterday.
Great Aunt Nancy dies. I really don't think I can handle going to another funeral right now.
Dad just called me. He had some chest pain last week -- that he didn't tell me about -- and has had more today. Says he is ok and won't go to the hospital.
If something happens to my dad I will just die. This is all getting way too much for me to handle.
Ok I KNOW that I am lucky. There are others having a way worse time than me. People that have lost more than me.
But right now I am having a pity party. My Aunt Betty (whom I called earlier today) said it was ok. I could have a pity party -- but only for about 10 minutes. I think my 10minutes are up.
Kathy
8 comments:
After what you've been going thru, you have a right to have a pitty party!!
Missie
Don't think it's a pity party, Kathy, you've had a helluvalot on your plate and you're entitled to get it off your chest. Don't think many others have had such a bad run over a 5 year period.
Dear Kathy ~
I have been your online friend for a long time and have watched or read about your troubles and trials and suffered with you. First thing I remember was your beloved pastor left your church. Now you have doctors, but there is nothing better than spiritual comfort. I know, I don't have a pastor either. I don't know if you know Joyce Meyer and her ministry, but she is very comforting and has written many books. Here is one that brought me comfort this last year, Seven Things That Steal Your Joy.
You were there for your family, your friends, and pets. They are reaching the ends of their lives and you are there to hold their hands, speak of wonderful memories with them, and pray for them. What would they have done without you! Now your Dad needs you a lot. I know you will have the strength to be there for him.
You are in my thoughts and prayers, dear Kathy. Love your new graphics!
Suzy Colorado
Kathy, you have had more than your fair share of troubles. You can have a pity party any time you want as far as i am concerned. You are entitled. Good luck form here forward. I will keep you in my prayers, Bill
Kathy,
We who read your journal love you...during the good times and the bad...so you dont apologize for feeling down. You share what is in your heart here. Journaling is purging...not just writing down that all is well and cheery. You have been through hell honey, and I won't quit reading just because your having a hard time. Thats what friends are for.
Love you...
Connie
You sure have had a dramatic four years...Like your aunt I to believe that you are due your "poor me" session...gets it off your chest. Now what about another exercise....might be a bit harder though..poor you LOl what about the nice things that have happened in last 4 years ? Hope you have a better week ahead and that all arrrangments you make come easy. Love Sybil xx
Ten minutes is not long enough for a pity party. A real pity party involves an evening with friends, good and drink (name your own alchohol or not -- poison) and lots of boxes of tissues.
So, having had a miserable year or two myself early on in my journaling I am right there giving you virtual hugs.
Life is tough and throws many curve balls. Some of us seems to catch more than others do.
Pity away. But today, I hope you are feeling just a bit better.
I think your Great Aunt N
heard you
waiting for your visit
so, you could see her
one more time...
Post a Comment